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Funny Bitch Friday: Douglass Diaries

21 Jan

Though she may be new to The League of Funny Bitches, I’mma talk about Brandi of Douglass Diaries today for a few special reasons.

1. She’s bloody famous now

2. She kicks ass at losing weight

3. She needs some love, y’all, after her hubs left for Afghanistan, and she bribed insurgents with muffins.

4. Cause she’s fly like a cheese stick

5. Scrapgate

6. And the Scrapoff and Winners

I could go on and on and on and on and on.

Go show her some love.

Don’t forget about the Fashion Fuckaround Challenge (just crop your head off if you’re embarrassed and send in the picture of the clothes. It’ll be like a lineup but without heads.)

Submit your pictures of your favorite fashion disasters from childhood or yesterday and you will probably win $50. NO FOOLIN’

Grace and Noa. 2 years ago.

 

 

ohnoagavin at gmail dot com

Let’s do this, Leaguers.

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Funny Bitch Friday: Hoody Hoo

14 Jan

Y’all. Hoody Hoo. Is fucking hilarious.

From the very first comment (in a sick kind of way, I kinda want a Life Gem… just to screw with people. “Oh, that’s a lovely necklace!” “It was my Nana.” “It was your Nana’s?” “You’re not listening.”) I was in lurve.

The cast of characters never disappoints: My Dear Sweet Mama in particular.

Fucking delightful. (Also, Hoody? Sorry for cussing at your mama.)

Let’s explore her psyche.

The First Step: Hi, I’m Noa, and I’ll punch a bitch if I don’t get to watch ma’ programs.

GET ME DENNIS QUAID! (man, If I had a nickel for every time I needed him)

The Legend of Petey: That’s not safe for Petey’s eyes.

BRILLIANT!: WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THIS?

And, my personal favorite, Blinding you with Science!

Go check it out, homes.

Funny Bitch Friday: BloggerToBeNamedLater

7 Jan

This week’s featured Funny Bitch is BloggerToBeNamedLater, who is both adorably hilarious and does good work.

Not only does BTBNL write about SexPantz for Holiday Parties and Healthcare for Little People (and hopefully one day, a combination of the two) and her dangerous sister the canoe pro, her funniest posts are her many treks though the beautiful asses of the National and State Park Systems. She’s awesome, and her pictures make me coo. Fucking coo. Ho makes me coo.

My Personal Favorites:

1. My Own Personal Waterloo

2. Detour to Bryce Canyon

3. Glacier National Park, part deux

As I said before, not only is she funny as hell, BTBNL is goodhearted in a way that only years of good sinning can do for you–by working with the Big Fluffy Dog Rescue. As you can imagine, they do exactly what they say, rescue Big Fluffy Dogs, and they do it all with horrendously limited funding. If you’re interested in helping her out by donating to the cause, or even adopting a dog yourself, you can click here.

Funny Bitches with hearts make the world go ’round.

New Year’s Resolutions

3 Jan

1. Call my Grandma more: She never hears from me. That’s not right. She’s the inspiration for this.

2. Not stab anyone in Wal-Mart: You laugh. I do not. I have a hateful vendetta against the world’s most efficient level of Hell.

3. Be more adventurous: I’m trying this thing where instead of letting my OCD and social anxiety make my life boring as hell, and in turn, shitty for you to read about, I force myself out to do awesome things. BlogHer ’11, I’m on my way.

4. Make you laugh more and more: Because that’s what I’m about.

5. Grow The League of Funny Bitches: An extension of #4.

6. Learn some things off of trickswithhats.org: Because, why the fuck not?

7. Dance more: I have dances for everything. I have car dances, cold weather dances, too hot dances, I’m hungry dances, fuck off dances–and it’s contagious. When you meet someone while dancing, it creates a weird bond. I like that.

8. Learn to speak more Hungarian than I know right now: Which is all of, “Fuck your mother,” “Horse’s ass,” “I don’t speak this very well,” and “Your Grandmother.”

9. Take more pictures: Because adventures lack proof without pictures.

10. Pay it Forward: You bitches are awesome. You tell your friends about me, you nominate me for the Bloggies (I’m looking at you, Flourish in Progress), you put me on your blogrolls, and best of all, you READ MY SHIT AND COMMENT. I love you people. And thusly, marks the return of Funny Bitch Fridays, which was attempted once and I promptly failed to do it again. You all deserve your turn–so keep being funny, keep being awesome. It’s my turn to say, “This bitch is hilarious.”

What are your resolutions?

Funny Bitch Friday!

19 Nov

Welcome to the first FUNNY BITCH FRIDAY! Where I’ll feature a post or tweets or a vagina from a member of The League of Funny Bitches.

This week is Annie from Hard Labor is Seriously Ruining my Manicure, where she and her husband Tim and a Bull and a Dog named Zelda buy and resurrect a farm in New York, while, as you see, fucking up her manicure. This Ho is fucking hilarious, and her most recent post about her husband’s fascination with the NRA had me on my knees.

She brings us “A Dozen Things Bad Guys Hate.” So, give thanks to she which brought you the gift for the crazed gunner in your life!

And now, on the mainstage:

Tim was extremely excited by the NRA monthly email he received yesterday, proclaiming it “the best thing they’ve ever sent him.”

This statement, coupled with the fact that he then said “you can NOT post this on your blog” made me instantly decide I needed to post it.

I have no snarky or insightful words to add as this genius piece of art is amazing in its own right and my commentary would only dull its magnificent hilarity.

Without further ado, please enjoy A DOZEN THINGS BAD GUYS HATE…

**********************

And because this one was fairly short, and the NRA did contribute, here are a couple more of Hard Labor’s fucking awesome posts.

Tales of the Nightmare Campout Where we learn about a creature that will rip your face off.

and

Bitches at the Gym Where Ho knocks some heads.

But seriously, go read.

LEAGUE OF FUNNY BITCHES, AWAY!!!!!!!!